TWO FAT FARANGS

Talking with the dead

July 19, 2007 – 8:47 pm

After reading James Eke’s email I became quite intrigued by this clairvoyant malarkey, so I asked Lek, a bar girl I’d spent a few days with, if she knew of anybody like this who we could go and see.
“Yes, me take you see,” she said, and we took a tuk tuk to the outskirts of Chiang Mai. “This lady, but not lady,” she explained on the way there. “Old man from long long time before come to she body.”
I took that as meaning a lady gets possessed by the ghost of an old fella who died years ago. We got dropped off at this old teak house on stilts. Underneath the house at the back was a tiled area where a few folks were sitting down facing a shrine with buddha trinkets, candles, incense sticks and bowls of food and flowers. We took a seat at the back.
a podgy lady in her mid-fifties then came out. She was wearing a white robe and her hair was cropped very short. She smiled at us all then sat down in front of the shrine. She then folded her hands in her lap, then closed her eyes and began chanting softly.
“Old man he come now,” Lek explained.
The lady’s body stiffened and she groaned deeply. her head went back and she belched. Then a loud groaning noise came out. I could feel the hairs on my arms pricking up. This was weird, and it didn’t look faked at all. More groaning, her head snapping back and forth, then she farted and relaxed.
“1.2.3.” she called out in a deep manly voice, and everybody laughed and looked round at me. “Good afternoon!” she exclaimed. I tried to laugh, but chuckled weakly. She was now a man. Not only the voice, but the facial expressions and the posture were masculine. If she was putting it on she was doing a very good job.
“Good afternoon!” he said again.
“Hello there,” I answered timidly.
The old man then settled down and those in front of us took it in turns to sit down with him. He (she) would mutter away to them but I couldn’t work out what he was saying.
“He talk same same people long time before,” Lek explained to me.
There were silver bowls off to the side and the people left gift donations and food in them. Our turn came and we sat down in front of him. With his hands folded in his lap he began chanting softly. He kept his eyes closed then tilted his head back and chuckled. He held two fingers up and said something.
I looked at Lek. “What does he say?” I asked.
She scowled at me. “He say you have two lady.”
I looked at him.
“Song,” he smiled craftily.
I patted Lek on the knee. “No, just one.”
She brushed my hand away, turned her head away and pouted. “What the fuck?” I muttered. We’d only been together a few days. None of her business how many I’ve got on the go. The truth was, though, that I didn’t have anybody else who I’d call a partner.
“There’s only Lek at the moment,” I told him.
He continued to chuckle away to himself. Then it hit me what he meant. The two gogo girls I’d had a few weeks ago. All of a sudden I felt like I was sitting in a pub with a buddy, sharing a laugh over a recent shag. I couldn’t help but grin.
He continued with the rest of the reading, chanting away to himself, then speaking. Lek got over her sulk and transalted for me. He told me I was a lucky man. He said I’d had great distresses in my past but there would be no more now. He also said I should never go back to England, and he hugged his arms and gave a mock shiver.
It was an extremely bizarre moment. I won’t be going back. Too weird.

9 Responses to “Talking with the dead”
Ye gods. I mean, what were the chances that a farang in Thailand has been to bed with TWO whole girls?

Er, I think the odds are about 1:1. Call me skeptical…

By Bangkok Bad Boy on Jul 20, 2007
I believe Will was reffering to the two girls he treated himself to after his meditation retreat (look under previous posts). Still, Badboy, better post than your last spam comment.

By Darwinian on Jul 20, 2007
Hello Darwinian. You seem a little slow, so I’ll simplify my comment for your easier understanding.

The “clairvoyant” didn’t say Will had been diddling two gogo girls. He said something (and we don’t seem to know exactly what) about him having two ladies.

Given that Will is a farang in Thailand, this is hardly a brave prediction.

Will then thinks “wow, s/he must mean the gogo girls of a few weeks ago”, and the “clairvoyant” seems to have a “gift” of some sort, when actually s/he is nothing more than an educated guesser.

Read up on Cold Reading if you want to know more about how it really works.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cold_reading

By Bangkok Bad Boy on Jul 22, 2007
Christ, I know I’m slow when I’m getting wikpedia links from the author of the most one dimensional blog on Thailand. Yes folks, visit bangkokbadboy.com for indepth reviews on bars and (wait for it… it’s never been done before) bargirls.

By Darwinian on Jul 23, 2007
I don’t think Will’s blog is the place for a slagging match. If you want to discuss how dull my website (that you keep coming back and reading) is, let’s do it on my site, eh?

By Bangkok Bad Boy on Jul 23, 2007
It seems that Will and John have closed up shop. John’s moving to Udon with Nam, and Will is just out there. Its been a blank screen lately, the bar is sold, Pattaya is only a memory at this point, and we can wait only for the emergence of new and different adventures. That is, if they want to share.
In the meantime, no need for the boys to argue.
Lets wish them well, with many happy endings…

By ArtTv on Jul 27, 2007
“boys”- meaning the readers.

By ArtTv on Jul 27, 2007
Is this site dead ?

By Jon DoeFour on Aug 21, 2007
Come-on you fucking tools make a post….this is pathetic.

By gingjok on Aug 22, 2007

Sorry, comments for this entry are closed at this time.

Talking with the dead

9 Responses to “Talking with the dead”

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